the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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