what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Found the puke drawer
I fill condoms, not promises.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
