dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
