He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
