Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
