The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
