His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
