Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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