The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
