it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
