College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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