why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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