My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
