what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
