Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
