Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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