I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
