his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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