Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
