My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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