I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
