im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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