She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
