whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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