its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
we're so committed to being not committed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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