my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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