whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
