I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
