his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
