I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
