you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
