Barsexuality is the new black.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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