the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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