Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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