Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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