If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
