the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
