I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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