Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
