whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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