So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
