YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
