people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
