im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
