Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
