Duck Duck Cougar?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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