Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
