why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
