I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
