I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
