fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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