Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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