brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
