we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
