i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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