Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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