I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
