I think my vagina is haunted
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
