I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
