My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
