we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
