I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
